Monday, You Are an A-Hole

Monday, I officially unfriend you. You came at me like a spider monkey ready for war.  You may have looked like this: 

But, Dude, all I had in me was this: 

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And as much as I love starting out my mornings with strategic warfare, I'm just not in my happy place when I have to rush my formidable opponent through a bout of uncompleted homework in order to catch the bus in time.

Nor do I find it amusing to hear, "Um, yeah, my science fair project is due tomorrow.  I need to get the supplies to start it.  Here's how big it's got to be."  WTF??

Then there was the psychiatrist appointment that I totally almost missed because I forgot about it.  I'm thankful for my husband who remembers everything and reminded me to go.  I thought about calling in with a made up injury which would prevent me from having to go but then remembered that I am now currently out of all the meds that help me remember that I have appointments in the first place.

I drove the 30 minutes to my doctor's office and then proceeded to get an actual call about a non-fake injury that would require a kid being picked up from school and a trip to the hospital for an X-ray. I subsequently had to leave my doctor's office (the one I had originally thought about calling into with a fake injury) to deal with said non-fake injury.  Oh, the irony.  

*note - no fracture actually found.  child will live to see another day.

Upon arriving home, I noticed a horrible smell in the kitchen.  I isolated the smell to the fish tank that we have for the Beta fish on our kitchen counter.  The tank needed cleaning because it smelled like a rotting corpse.  I scooped the little guy out of the tank into a glass so I could empty the fish tank and clean it.  The damn fish jumped out of the glass and into the sink and down into the garbage disposal.  I am not freaking kidding!  I started screaming for my husband, who thank goodness was working from home, to come and help get the fish out of the disposal. He saved the day by reaching down the drain and grabbing the slimy creature out of the disposal and tossing him back into the tank. 

*note - fish will live to see another day

The day pretty much continued in that fashion.  I couldn't get out of the slump.  I was a day late and a dollar short from beginning to end.  Can I tell you about the best part?  At the end of the day I actually looked in the mirror and realized that I had put 2 earrings in one ear...IN THE SAME HOLE!  I kid you not.  My shirt also apparently had been stained at some point during the course of the day so I had that going for me too.  I walked around like this ALL DAY.  No one said a word.  They probably just felt sorry for me.  

So with that, I leave you with lyrics to a Boomtown Rats song, "I Don't Like Mondays."  Although it was written in the 70's, it applies in '17 more than ever because I really, really don't like Mondays.  

I Don't Like Mondays 

The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload
And nobody's gonna go to school today
She's going to make them stay at home
And daddy doesn't understand it
He always said she was as good as gold
And he can see no reason
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be sure

Tell me why
I don't like Mondays
I want to shoot

The whole day down

Bob Geldof, Boomtown Rats (1979)


*on a super duper side note, the blog site that hosts my blog puts ads on my page relating to whatever's in the content of the blog title and/or words within the blog.  Since I had "a-hole" in my blog post title, the ad that appeared at the top of the blog post was a hemorrhoid ad.  Although I found the word hemorrhoid to be an accurate description of my day, it wasn't exactly what I wanted to look at when I opened my blog.  I deleted the advertising gadget on that part of my page.  So, consider this your hemorrhoid ad.