I Accidently Dropped it Down the Sewer

There are many declarations your child could loudly make as they come running into the house that would elevate your blood pressure.   I have heard more of those statements than I care to count.  Actually almost every time the door opens I hold my breath and wait for the bomb to drop. Well, this day was no different.  Cue the garage door busting open:

Kid: "I accidentally dropped it down the sewer!!  Help!!!" 

Me:  "What did you drop down the sewer?"

Kid:  "My phone!"

Me:  "You mean the brand new iPhone you just got a few days ago?!?!"

Kid:  "It was totally an accident! I was sitting on the sewer lid in front of our house and it just fell out of my pocket down into the sewer!  Oh my God, dad's going to kill me!  Please help me get it out!"

Me:  "Ummm,  I can't quite digest the information you are sharing with me.  I am baffled on how on earth the phone fell into the sewer.  This, my friend, is not going to turn out well for you."  

 So, I go out to the sewer and prepare for the worst.  My stomach is in a pit.  I am so pissed off I could throw the effin sewer lid!

Let me lighten that view down the sewer for you.  Mind you it is no less than eight feet down to the bottom.  Look see, there it is face down at the bottom of the sewer. 

I make the kid climb down into the sewer to get the phone.  I am just waiting for him to turn it over and see it smashed to smithereens.  Deep breath.  Prepare. 

His freakin' phone is perfectly fine...no cracks, no scratches, no part of the phone broken in any way shape or form! 

Oh come on!  I mean, I am glad the phone is fine and all, but I wanted him so badly to see it broken because of his careless behavior.  I wanted him to have to pay to fix the phone.  In all honesty I am kind of annoyed that the reason we had to get new phones in the first place was that my stupid phone fell eighteen inches off the seat of a chair (not even my fault mind you) and cracked into pieces and his phone fell eight feet face down onto the concrete bottom of a street sewer (totally his fault mind you) and was perfectly fine!

Needless to say, his dad can read and will now know about the phone (OUCH),  and my blood pressure is still elevated.  Wine will make it better.