Prayers from Target

Yesterday I took several of my children to Target to shop for school supplies.  I'm not sure what went wrong.  Maybe I said no when my child asked me to buy him a toy or a pack of gum.  Maybe the air conditioner in the store blew the air the wrong way.  Maybe I raised my voice to my children when they were whacking one another with slap bracelet rulers while walking through the school supply section. Whatever the actual trigger was I will never know, but I ended up in the checkout line with a seven-year-old in full on meltdown mode.  Good times. 

I am reminded of a Target trip several years back...

Nick was maybe 3 which puts Harry at 6.  I have no idea what would possess me to have Harry push a second cart behind me as we were shopping.  Include the kids in the shopping experience, they say. Have them help.  It'll keep them from misbehaving.  Umm, yeah, not so much.  I remember walking down the aisle in the grocery section of Target while Nick was strapped into the cart and Harry was pushing a 2nd cart behind me.  He wasn't so much pushing the cart but more like playing a game of how many things can you knock off the shelves by crashing into them.  It must have been nap time for Nick because he had lost his mind and was screaming and crying in the cart I was steering.  I was most likely overstimulated, overtired, and apparently, I looked as if I were falling apart.  

Several aisles later, a woman whom I did not know approached me in the heat of this total mental breakdown that my children and I were having.  She took my hands and asked if she could hug me. She said I looked like I needed it.  Then she asked if she could pray for me. You know you've made quite a scene already if a total stranger stops you in Target and asks to pray for you.  I can't remember if I even answered her.  With my kids screaming and subsequently knocking massive quantities of things off the shelves behind me, she put her hand on my shoulder and prayed aloud over me right there in the middle of Target.  I have no recollection of the actual words that came out of her mouth during that prayer.   I can't remember if I even said anything in response. Since I was crying before she asked me if she could pray for me, I imagine that I continued to stand there in tears.  She smiled, and squeezed my hand.  

I don't know who this woman was.  I had never met her before nor have I seen her since, but what I can tell you is that I will remember that experience forever. We all walk around blind to the people around us who are calling out for help without actually speaking.  We are annoyed by other people's loud, cranky children.  We are judgmental about how other people are parenting in public when they are yelling at their children in frustration.  We are so busy being busy that we fail to have any compassion for other people's immediate struggles whether they are parenting struggles or struggles of any other kind.  I don't know if I would be gutsy enough to ever stop and pray over someone I don't know in public, but I certainly offer looks of understanding and simple words of human connection.  "I have been there too.  Girl, I understand.  Believe me.  This too shall pass."  Maybe they are not the right words to say, but sometimes people just need to feel that they aren't alone. Feeling alone and judged are 2 of the worst feelings you can have especially when you are in the trenches.  

That's a little bit about why I write about my parenting experiences.  Maybe it gives voice to a few people who have no idea how to voice how hard and overwhelming being a parent is.  Making it funny helps defuse the anxiety and help people to see they aren't alone.  Other people have kids who misbehave and who really suck at being a parent most of the time.  It's normal to suck.  Trust me. This small piece of advice is coming straight from the mouth of someone who sucks so bad at parenting that I was stopped at Target by a stranger to be prayed over.   Consider this me stopping you all in the aisles of Target to pray over you.  It gets hard, then some days easier, then hard again, and just when you feel like you have it under control someone goes and has a full-on meltdown for you in the checkout lane of Target yet again.  

*Side note - Who in their right mind would make a slap bracelet ruler for children when they are fully aware that said bracelet will be used as a weapon every time?  Dumbest invention ever.