I visited my psychiatrist yesterday. I was telling her that
I was feeling very anxious after a long summer at home with the kids. I found
it hard to get to yoga classes or to get a workout in, which is usually my
release. I seemed to be going in 4 different directions all summer, but none of
those directions were my own. I tried my
best to be calm, walk away, ignore, and redirect during trying times, but three months together all day is a lot. As most of you know, my children are a bit more than most. I love my kids, but by
August we all need summer to be over. I
told her I found myself having a glass of wine almost every night to help take
the edge off. Although the wine does help
with that, it does not solve the underlying cause of the anxiety thus being the
reason for my visit.
She gave me a warm smile and an understanding nod. She’s a woman of great faith and has an
abundance of biblical knowledge. She
asked if I remembered the story of Noah to which I replied that I did (although
some of the details are fuzzy). She said
that God gave Noah the command to build the ark which seemed to be an
impossible feat. Imagine the time, the
energy, and the tireless work that he put into building an ark not knowing the
outcome but just trusting God.
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My son's Noah's Ark piggy bank |
She said, “Now, I’m not calling you Noah nor am I calling
your kids the ark, but idea is the same. You put endless hours in building
your children from the ground up not knowing the outcome but trusting God that
he has a plan for them. It’s hard work.
It’s stressful. It’s
exhausting. Do you know what Noah did
after the flood? He drank wine, and I bet
that was not the only time he drank wine.
What about when he was in the building process and things weren’t going
as planned? What about when he dropped a
hammer on his foot and broke a toe? What
about when his family was continuously fighting and he wasn't sure he could take another minute of it? My guess is he drank wine then too.”
See Genesis 9:20ish. Basically, it says that some point after the
flood, Noah planted a vineyard, produced wine, and drank the heck out of it. I guess me and Noah have a couple things in
common. He has an ark. I have a SUV. He has a vineyard. I belong to a wine club. He was charged with the insurmountable task
of building an ark in which to ensure the future of all animal kind on the
face of the earth. I have the insurmountable task of raising my kids, who act mostly like animals. He probably had wine when he dropped a hammer
on his toe, and I definitely had wine when I dropped an actual squash on my toe
and broke it. It’s the same…but
different.
In addition to other measures to manage anxiety, maybe
having a glass of wine now and again isn’t so bad. I will just need to avoid the second part of
Noah’s adventure with wine in which he drank so much he ended up passing out
naked in a tent where his kids found him and they were super embarrassed. Somehow, even without wine, I still seem to
make my children super embarrassed. I
guess the good thing is that I prefer to be fully clothed, I am not an avid camper, and my tent is packed somewhere
deep away in the basement.